Разруха

Стените рухнаха отведнъж
Под стона на годините
И сякаш изтъкани от плът
Кървяха руините.
Сенките бродиха из пустошта,
Търсеха градините,
Цъфтели някога надлъж,
Пак там – при руините.
Спомените заровени в пръстта
Чакаха своя откривател,
Но всичко изгеждаше така
Сякаш съм глупав мечтател.

И в пот събудих се вън,
Заспал на пейка стоманена.
Реалност, а не сън
Бе градината от страхове построена.

It always ends up in tears

Do I really need this pain or may be I need it just to feel myself alive? Is there any appropriate answer? I don’t think so. Loneliness is just an excuse to say that I don’t need someone next to me. Sometimes is sad, because I’m getting use to be in a relationship. My needs are the most important, my thoughts have to be shared and the man next to me is just a mannequin to whom I’m talking. But is this real love or just another habit? Does he deserve to be in a relationship which is not real?
No, no, no! I cannot use a person as my emotional dustbin, I have no rights to do it. And when the end is near I can feel it. There are plenty of scandals, misunderstanding, nothing you want to do with him. Then rejection comes…
It’s hard to say “Goodbye” when a couple of years have been spent with this person and it’s impossible to erase all this past. After the difficult “Goodbye” comes the regret of your action. And all this pain that you feel washes you away, breaks you, tears up your heart… Everything is dark and black, you can’t see the light, you think that you’re sinking…
One day you realize that you’re sitting on the floor with that forbidden box full of your memories – pictures, CDs, letters… Do we need this torture to prove how strong we’ve become? Or the only thing we need is the fact that once upon a time we were loved, we were everything for someone!
Can we stop thinking about the past? Can we try to move on? Yes, we can, but we have to pass through this phase, when everything is hopeless… It can take weeks, months, even years to be recovered, but in the end we’re completely new persons. And then, when the recovery is over, we can move on…