The Awakening

I was called ton of names with intention to destroy me
But I put them carefully in my make-up box and wardrobe.
In front of my mirror I started getting ready.
I unintentionally used two unapologetic execrations as dark shades on my eyes,
On my lips I put the blood-red betrayals,
All the insults are my blush,
I braided my hair with all the false promises once given,
My neckless is made of blames put on me.
I took the dress made of untold truths
And I took my gloves made of lies.
I took my jacket made from numerous deceptions,
My boots are other’s expectations of who am I supposed to be.

I am ready, it is time for me to go..

....
The path I took is made of pain,
I shed some tears for safe travels….
And only the mirror in my room witnessed
The real me, my naked soul,
Tired of all these shams…

Not finished but beautiful

 

Ughm, well, I have something to share with you but still not the proper words. However, I will no longer stay quiet and I will begin my story.

    So it was winter again, the sky was gray and unfriendly as if it was going to fall over your head. It made me feel smaller and useless. And there was no other option to change my mood with some cheerful smile. The sky was so close to me that I felt repressed by the Mother Nature. This was her way to punish us for being selfish and not grateful for what we have already had. Then I looked through the window and what did I see? The trees!  And I saw their sad and at the same time ugly silhouettes all over the town, as if they wanted to be part of a battlefield but they have been lost during the time and space; as if they were blind and could not find the path leading to this field, and realizing that they were lost they have decided to stop somewhere and to remain there – naked and angry because no soul wanted to lead them. And they met too many souls and asked them for help – some of them were corrupted from the way of life - they wanted something in exchange of their help; others were too tired and wanted a break every 30 minutes; and the worse of them the ignorant ones – those pity souls did not care about anything and anyone, they did not even give a damn for themselves. What could you expect from them? Nothing!  So the trees froze in time and took their new shapes; the shapes which they discovered during that disappointing travelling.

But even sadder was the story of the winter wind. Once the winter wind had a lover – the warmest breeze of the world. She was so hot that she could fly with a man on her shoulders for months; she could warm even the coldest heart up only with one touch. And the winter wind was happy; his breath was softer and his music was delight.  They traveled through the world together and playing with the land and the sea. One day the summer saw the breeze and wanted her for him. He envied the winter wind because he was no longer cruel and harsh to the earth. One day the summer caught the breeze in a moment of weakness and made her promise that she will help him. She agreed and he told her that they should go to the most distant place in the world. She wanted to say goodbye to her lover but the summer refused her. She only left a short melody saying that she would come back once she is done helping summer. Unfortunately, the summer had no plans to leave her and still she is with him, warming every part of the world. But she became cruel, too. When she is asking to leave the summer and he still says no, she becomes so hot that people are dying, fires burn the earth, lakes become deserts. This is her small revenge for being lied and kept enslaved. 

As for the winter wind, he found this short melody and stood alone, he felt rejected. Since then, his breath is sharper, even colder and stronger. He no longer has mercy to these pity souls. Sometimes he gets so cold that he even kills. And yet, he cannot forgive summer and breeze for their betrayal. He is still playing the melody again but this time it is impossible to understand what he is introducing to my ears. It is a bit painful to recognize his emotions. There isn't any snow and it would not be snowy anytime  soon. But it is cold, so cold that you can’t stay out for more than five to ten minutes.

And this is how all the sadness around me reshaped my view of the landscape...

To be continued... Maybe...

I am...

 

I am going to be the curse your sinner lips desperately whispered.

The curse is going to be your lifelong sentence.

....

I am going to be the shiver slowly weakening you during your lonely nights.

I am going to be to sweetest voice in your head,

I am going to be the irrepressible desire in your heart.

I am going to be yours once you give up on me,

I am going to be someone else’s when you want me badly.

I am going to be the dream when you are awake,

I am going to be the sunlight when you want to sleep.

I am going to be so distant when I am with you.

I am going to be the pain from your self-inflicted wounds.

I am going to be the heat when your nights are as cold as winter,

I am going to be the frostiness during your days as hot as summer.

I am going to be the romantic poem kept in secret,

I am going to be the obstacle preventing you from realizing your dreams.

I am going to be present when you are not around.

I am going to run away every time you attempt to get me closer.

I am going to be the truth hidden in your lies.

I am going to be the raging fear when you think your life is fine,

I am going to be your happy place when your life is torn apart.

I am going to be the nightmare torturing you every day and night.