The Mask

 

How dare you to live behind all these masks?

Aren’t you tired of all these charades?

Aren’t you weakened by all the weight you pulled during the day

Pretending to function like a human, well put together,

Belonging to all the wrong rooms?

How do you live behind all these masks?

Don’t you feel lost after all the games you played?

Are you blind to the tears trying to burst?

Why don’t you feel hurt?

Or maybe your second skin is to pretend you have succeeded?

How do you choose which mask to wear?

When do you know you need to switch?

Aren’t you tired yet?

Doesn’t the pain weigh on you or is your numbness your greatest strength?

How much harm can you take before you fall down exhausted by the “would it be great if” in your life?

How do you live behind all these masks?

Is this who you truly are? – A chameleon, a performance well staged?

Aren’t you too damaged to recognize the deep wounds - unhealed?

Or don’t the scars matter to you anymore?

What if every mask is a knife in your soul, perverting you from being whole?

What if every show is just another lie you love to watch and hear, avoiding to face how broken you have become?

Why is this stage all you crave when the harm is bleeding you dry?

What have you done?

…

How dare you to live behind all these masks?

Almighty, perfect human in front of the broken mirror – which mask is the winner today?

Are you picking the mask of the strong one or maybe the unforgivable one?

Which reflection do you call real tonight?

Or maybe the cracks are showing who you are?

Nope, you are not tired yet, standing speechless, one hand on the wall,

A new mask in the other hand, ready to be worn.

Getting ready for the next place you can’t belong,

A life you can’t even call your own and still, you put the mask on – ready to fool yourself, to disappear behind another face.

The Scar I Chose

 

I no longer can stay with you – your taste is now bitter, no strawberry flavoured kisses,

I no longer can stay with you – your scent is now too musky,

I no longer can stay with you – your gaze is now a glacier, piercingly cold,

I no longer can stay with you – your touch makes my skin ache.

…

You started like a tale as old as time – a long - forgotten sweetness pouring into my mouth.

Every stolen minute flew like a blink of an eye,

Every spoken word felt like music, song so distant yet devoted, mine.

Your presence awoke feral thoughts as if I were a beast, finally ready to escape the chains,

Suppressed for ages, ready to taste the freedom you offered, ready to come out.

Every touch made me strong, ready to endure what you had in store for me,

Ready to explore, ready to be devoured, ready to evaporate.

Your raspy voice, so enchanting, made me dance under the full moon like an untamed wolf.

Your fingers tracing my spine defied gravity, I felt like a raven roaming freely through the sky.

…

Your lips are now foreign – rotten cranberries replaced the sweetness I learned to love.

Your scent still lingers in the outer corners of my room, still refusing to leave even after I replaced you with a bouquet of fresh lilac.

I no longer search for the empty eyes you gifted me – you are now just another stranger passing by my life.

My body still remembers your touch – I refuse to forget what it feels like not be held.

…

But I will bury your scent beneath fresh flowers every day,

I will change the music and introduce a new dance,

I will teach my body to stop craving the touch of your hands,

I will accept the lonely room and never let you reach the door.

…

I no longer can stay with you – I refuse to drink the wine dressed in sweetness, brewed only to poison me,

I no longer can stay with you – I refuse to wear your scent follow me,

I no longer can stay with you – I refuse to shiver in your winter,

I no longer can stay with you – your touch is now a scar I choose not to heal.