Comfortable with Loneliness

 

When did you last look at the bright moon hugged by the dim light?

When was the last time you closed the door without feeling any regret?

When was the last time you lent a hand to help someone in trouble?

When was the last time you admired the moon without feeling sad?

When was the last time you sat and reflected on every mistake you had made?

When was the last time you looked into the eyes of your loved one

And asked if everything is okay?

When was the last time you actually felt anything?

…

I see you thinking hard before you answer, wondering when the last time was that you felt like a living being.

I see you barely holding your pose, trying to remember when you last cried over all the important fuck – ups.

Are you still trying to play the game of being blameless, truly guilt-free?

Or maybe your heart has grown used to being cold… Just tell me.

…

When did you last look at the bright moon hugged by the dim light?

When was the last time you sat drawn in the depth of your comfortable loneliness?

When was the last time you enjoyed your life just as it was?

When was the last time you were filled with glee without feeling shame?

Have you forgotten what a pure emotion is?

Have you forgotten what delight tastes like?

…

Maybe there is nothing worth remembering,

Maybe every question is another locked door,

Maybe every piece you buried should stay where it is.

Maybe you refuse to remember because you have given up.

…

And now that the bright moon rests within the dim light again,

You no longer ask where you have been or what you have forgotten.

Maybe this calm night is for me to finally understand that you are no longer my friend,

Maybe I need to realize that you are now a stranger wearing the face of someone I once cherished,

Someone I no longer know…

Tame Me

 

Tame me – chain me, I don’t want to run in the wild,

Tame me – make me obedient, conquer me like a piece of land.

This wilderness is not the place to live,

The harsh climate makes me lose myself, undone and yet unchained.

Tame me – teach me how to kneel obediently, no questions asked.

Help me weave my boundaries with yours,

Show me how to make you my home.

I need a safe haven as I am tired of surviving through the storms, frozen and drowned,

I am tired of sleeping beneath the vast sky;

I need something stable and secure.

As sweet as freedom tastes, bitterness finds its way down my throat.

My kingdom is bright, yet I rule by instinct and hunger.

I keep living in cycles long after the healing is done,

I still find the painful path to take; I still run wild like a scared animal.

Tame me – show me how to belong,

Show me which bones are worth saving, tear down the rooms I no longer live in.

The beast in me is exhausted, never in peace, always preparing for the next war.

Tame me, but first understand every inch of me,

The blizzards and hurricanes still live underneath porcelain skin.

My heart is a dead forest – regrets rooted deep within its loam.

The wolves are not howling outside – their voices live inside my mind.

…

Tame me – you like broken things.

Hold my body in your hands, show me what tenderness feels like.

Tame me – tell me where to sit and where to stay – I will try to obey.

Make me smaller, train me to be easier to keep.

I am tired of being fearless and wounded, too difficult to protect.

Tame me – I have learned that ownership equals certainty,

At least the cages keep the winds away.

…

Conquer me as though I were a country – I let you rename my rivers.

Erase the language I speak.

Draw borders through my body – call it whatever you want.

Take what you need from the soil, leave the marks.

Build monuments where the damage is too great,

Teach me how to celebrate what was taken.

Tame me – I will let history remember your name.

Tame me – I have given you permission to obliterate me,

So my existence survives only in the old maps.

Tame me…