Untitled

There he was – standing on the top of the cliff, no matter he was away enough, with all his beauty and loneliness. His head was bend, and his disappointed voice was screaming with a scary sound… The net of Solitude was too heavy for him, and he didn’t want to carry it on anymore. Since his last beloved he had become more quiet and lonely. Sometimes Death was not the answer, but he didn’t realize it.
His eyes were full of tears and sorrow, his heartbeat was stopping more than before. It was hard to be said if that was just a regular fear of spending a life alone or fear of everything.
I was staring the cliff – high enough, empty enough. And then he shouted painfully somehow. His voice was different. May be he wanted to be alone… Who knew…
Suddenly he jumped. Was it all? Was it the only way to live? Was the Death his eternal life?
I couldn’t find the answers because I cannot live somebody’s life. Sometimes judging is easy, everyone can do it. But on one asks themselves what’s really going on?
Why did we choose the wrong path, which turn was wrong? Why did my friend jump? Why I couldn’t help him? May be I was the weak person, unable to help, unable to talk, unable to share…
Some choices cannot be changed. Sometimes friend doesn’t mean to be talkative, a helpful mate. Sometimes being a good friend mean to leave some to be free… And this freedom is painful, because I still remember his solitude, his tears, his grief. But who I was?
I wasn’t that kind of person who always criticized someone’s decisions. I’m the one who left herself in a vain existence, with red crying eyes, with neverending pain and grief. I’m that kind of a monster who’s named as a “Voice of insanity”, the one who knows everything and still doesn’t lost her mind. I’m the one who cannot set herself free… Free of what?

FREE OF EMOTIONS…