Mundane Life

 

Some nights it’s hard to stay sane,

Drunk from memories of never happened, never meant to be,

Some days it’s hard to stay in my lane

Torn between the fairy and the witch within.

As we all know the life is not a fairytale with happy ending

Nor a tragedy of an epic journey to discover who we are.

…

In those nights of pain and misery I call you,

You are always so welcome in my home of emptiness.

The moments we share of forbidden pleasure

Is what keep me level-headed.

Chaos everywhere, not sure what am I supposed to do.

You are my anchor with a taste of poison,

My lullaby with tender voice, my human doll, my shameful all.

I am sorry that I treat you like an object but this is what agreed on.

You a simple mean of calmness when my mind is raging hurricane,

Your warmth is so intoxicating mixed with the sweetness of your skin,

You are my midnight kryptonite, my wicked half with inviting smile to sin.

I am sorry you can’t stay overnight, this is not the deal we signed

I call you, you come and serve your purpose.

Afterwards no conversations, no hugs, no nothing showing closeness

We are not that deep – we are each other’s puppets; this is not love.

…

I am sorry my dear, it’s time to break the deal.

You caught feelings, you want more than what I can offer, I am getting bored.

This was my last call, last minutes that we share in my time with you.

I have found another toy to play this game, no hard feelings.

You want a spouse, I want fun and if you can’t hold your part of the contract

I am terminating it for your own good.

It was nice to share some of my inner fire but if I knew you are getting burnt so quickly

I would have never offered you my chaos, nor the taste of my darkness. 

Damn, it is so sweet.

…

Some nights it’s hard to stay sane,

Drunk from memories of never happened, never meant to be,

Some days it’s hard to stay in my lane

Consumed by my new addictions, my new toys with a taste of liqueur mixed with strawberry

A pinch of salt and a little bit of void that absorb my emptiness.

New contracts, new days, new nights – this is how I see them all

A moment of desire and then back to the mundane tasks at hand.

Bound to Fail

 

Sometimes we get hurt the most by those we call loved ones…

…

Pain, sadness, loneliness…

Are you the one who closed that golden door leading to the dreams coming true?

Are you the one who chose the silence when I needed your words the most?

Are you the one who buried into the ashes the most sacred feelings?

Are you the one who deliberately turned blind eye on me when I was crying my eyes out?

Are you the one who punished me for my choice and actions time and time again?

Are you the one – the Doombringer of my life – peaceful and quiet or hurricane and flood?

Are you the one who has always stayed by my side or the one who chose to leave one more time?

Are you the one who feel pleasure when those around him are in pain?

…

And here we are - the same old story written in the books from all ages.

You are the one who delivered the verdict and I am the one who feels when aches.

A toxic cycle of diminished self-respect and hatred, sadomasochism in its highest form.

But you are just a human, nothing godly in your presence, only words spoken in vain.

You are the one who loves to make me small every day until nothing is left

And I am the one who gathers all the misery and then turn it into a new monstrosity

Until one of us is tired and decides to leave, until then it is like an endless curse

We are bound to each other in unhealthy pleasure from unhealthy pain.

Saint Or Sinner

 

Kissed by thousand lips

I engulfed myself into the pleasures of the flesh.

Touched by thousand hands

I am set on fire even by the slightest osculation.

Buried under the countless bodies I have had

Awakened my femme fatale -

Like a modern witch of the Satisfaction Coven,

Proven to be evil when necessary, even deadly at times - 

Killing souls with a gentle looks, soft kisses

Making you forget the ugliness of the simple life.

…

Oh I am so tired of the boring love songs

That every woman loves to listen to,

New way of keeping the deceit up.

Love will conquer all, does it though?

I want to hear those forbidden tunes of shameless joy

When the primal instincts are in tact

The raw attraction and impulses of playing with the one next to you

Is what really matters in the darkness of the night.

The time when all masks are down showing our true colors

And even if we are frown upon, we keep getting the sweetness

Of that gentle grab around the neck.

Who cares if it is for day or two, or even for a year?

We want to lose our minds in the game of two or even more,

Where nothing is forbidden, where everything is up to us.

Oh, let’s bring up those “filthy” fantasies – games outside the cardboard box,

Neatly hidden behind metal doors, shameful yet intriguing for those who cannot play free.

Why to cage ourselves in shining cages – society is what we are thought to uphold,

The general idea of what we should enjoy.

Oh, my endearing lady, come with me, just for one night.

Let me show you how life could taste – cherry and pineapple, strawberry and vanilla.

You choose, I obey like I have never done before.

Let me free you from the social prison, let me see you reborn.

In my hands I can mold you like no man has ever done before

And if someone tries to judge you send them to me.

I can teach and punish every man or woman, whatever is in demand

I see no difference as long as I get what I think is mine.

…

Here you are afraid of what might happens, shaking from the thought of doing something bad

And yet you are so obedient, I like how I made you mine.