In the privacy
of my own room, I close the heavy eyes
The
blackness follows…fully blind.
Raging storms outside,
Inside my heart - emotional gale.
Tears and rain drops are falling in sync again,
The War of
elements is ramping inside and out.
My wounded
soul is roaming lonely
Around the forgotten graveyard of painful thoughts.
The storm
outside is over, the sun comes up.
However, my
internal night is here, cold moonshine.
The
Loneliness and the Darkness, my old friends
Joining forces till my bitter end.
I feel like
I am dying, same old cycle,
Same old
me, same old feelings,
Never-ending
insecurities, mentally exhausted
Physically
still good me.
The burden
is too heavy, no one understands.
Or maybe
the illusionist in me
Is very
well equipped to present my alternative reality.
Or maybe I am
too good painter, using all the palettes too well
That the
picture I have created is not looking like well curated facade.
Or maybe
the composer in me used the best notes
To create
the hypnotizing song to confuse all living souls.
I am neither
sad nor happy,
I am neither
tired nor well- rested,
I am
neither all nor nothing,
I am
neither good nor bad…
It’s just all
those feelings buried deep inside.
Emptiness is
neither curse nor blessing,
Black-and-white
does not exist,
It’s all a
matter of my own perception
Accompanied
with a pinch of grief.
