Sinful Beggar

 

Come to me tonight,

Don’t tell me you are too busy.

I will wait for you like I do every other night;

I know I am your dirty little secret.

Come to me tonight,

Kiss me the way you did it last time.

Hold me in your hands,

Melt me like an ice,

Mold me like clay;

Please be kind, don’t torture me.

Come to me tonight,

I promise I’ll be the angel you want,

No game, no shame

Be my pleasure, be my pain.

I promise I am on my best behavior,

I won’t call you after you are done.

Don’t stay in my dreams anymore,

I promise I won’t regret it!

Let’s sin in the veil of the darkness like we did 2 days ago…

Come to me tonight,

Punish me like I did 2 weeks before,

Let’s explore our filthy sides – we need fun.

Stop hiding into the blackness of your cozy home,

Come to me, please, don’t run…

I promise, I won’t love you a day longer,

I can sense it is coming to an end.

We can’t do it a night or two more,

It’s time for our lustful goodbye

Be mine for last time and then leave me,

Don’t turn your head back,

Just come close for one last play on the stage of the shameful affairs

Kiss me, poison me, torture me as if I am your curse to the point of no return.

Do it for last time, I promise I’ll be kind

And then leave my room and pay me no mind.

Untold

 

Millions questions left unasked,

Millions decisions left unmade.

Clouds of confusion linger on the vast sky

Waiting for the storm of doubt to rumble;

Rains of regret are pouring, floods of what ifs.

…

In this faithful day I made the last decision,

I wanted this chapter closed.

I expected the rejection, my last proof

That my place was never there.

I wanted this final confirmation before I say my last goodbye

To the materialized reality of childish dream – fully realized brutality.

…

I got my answer, I cannot be surprised from simple-minded people;

The game of chess is not so predictable, lack of thrill.

Let me pack my stuff and leave the fundaments of what I have started to build,

This city is of no use to me – the architects are blind;

The concepts of the building scrapped, changes in plans again.

Those foundations will slowly turn into ruins of make believe

That you are the translator of those with great vision

But failing to understand the complexity of each piece;

It is never too uncomplicated – overlooked complexity.

…

The chapter closed, dead silences awaits me at the gates of the city;

Next time I will make the town of my dreams

Even if the road is thorny and the journey screams to me “Leave it!”.

Next castle will be what I exactly want it to be – a place of endless joy

And a fortress fortified with my own blood, loneliness and self-inflicted agony

- The Builder of my own Tangibility!

Sweet Bitterness

 

Quiet steps in the middle of the night echoes from the opposite side of the hall;

They keep getting louder and louder, shy door knock.

His entrance filled the room with his presence,

Calm and gentle whisper waking me from my deep sleep.

I see him sitting on the rocking chair, air filled with the heavy smell of cigarettes,

The sweetness of his whiskey breath is filling me with fire from within.

One sharp look; I am stunned and then he breaks the silence asking all forbidden questions.

Shall we begin?

…

What do I want???

 – Kiss me and then continue your life as it is.

What do I breathe for?

– For you, obviously!

Why do you want me just now?

Haven’t you had enough of me all those years?

After all these years spent in your cold days and fiery nights

I am not of importance to you.

You call me all those names as if I am not a real man.

Am I an imagination born from convenient desires? – Yes?!

Why do you keep it so quiet when I am looking straight to you?

Are you ashamed of what we did in the darkness of the night?

Why do you keep wasting my time as if my body is all you need?

Why do you keep confuse me?

I am not a toy from your doll collection.

Do you still hate me for all the untold feelings, bottled up in misery?

Wasteland…

Can you even see me? – Yes or no, answer me?

Why do you call yourself my savior?

You still put me down, beat me like a dog.

What is the meaning of your love?

Get me out of your lethal embrace.

Why do you call yourself my healer when the wound still bleeds fresh?

…

What do I want???

 – Kiss me…

And when you are done with your needs forget about me -

My sweet little regret, the death of my hopes and my sweet agony.

I beg one last time - stop this torture, you are the end of everything I hold dear to me!

Choices

 

Broken pieces, unfinished puzzles,

Too many mind games, dangerous pathways,

Countless unknowns…

Which is the right path to take?

Confusion overload, sensory deprivation,

Poisonous chemicals, dizziness to the extreme…

…

In this day and age when being any type of sober is insane,

Simply take the road to madness - the ultimate success.

Vision crystal clear, equipped with tears,

Removing the irritating sands in agony.

We need to see all the lies told with body language.

Sweet deafness overthroned with the morbid sound of truth

The ugliness of the real conversations are overtaking the collective consciousness.

My point is proven – we are intoxicated with false communication

Unable to define the toxic motivation from the words of constant overwork:

- Improve your posture, language and even gaze....

We are unhealthy driven to exhaustion from these ads of "healthy balance"

When the concrete walls of our mind prisons are crushing the sparks of the true self-awakening.

…

We are modern slaves of unlimited consumption of false reality

Where we all demand to be perceived as overachievers,

When actually we are slither into the communal mud of ill ambitions

Of conquering whatever we are told to 

- Mazes and dimensions of pretend tangibility.

…

Broken pieces, unfinished puzzles,

Too many mind games, dangerous pathways,

Countless unknowns…

Voiceless songs, empty words,

New age - mindless poetry.

…

Destroyed by low self-esteem and toxic self-proclaimed leaders

We are marching to our own undoing collectively,

Tied up on cheap leashes we are selling ourselves into the shop of “Who is better than the rest?”;

And like a ragdolls haunted by an innocent entity we try to endure the unavoidable purchase.

We are all short-sighted, comforted of the dream of having special place

When in actuality unbeknownst to us, we hold the key of our own prosperity.

…

Broken pieces, unfinished puzzles,

Too many mind games, dangerous pathways,

Countless unknowns…

And yet the lesson not learned -

Let me sell another piece of me!