Welcome
to my paradise full of pain and deception.
I
have created it for you just to feel as if you are home.
Look
around the green grass full of painful memories
That
you have left and then disappeared.
Look
at the river of salty tears,
Those
I shed when you kept repeating the same mistakes
Thinking
I will never notice, I am not blind.
Take
a look around, it’s all you like – a peaceful land.
The
trees are made of the lies you have told me
And
made me believe they were reality which awaits me.
No
need to thank me, I am learning from the best.
Take
your morning walk on the pavement built from all the emotions
You
made me feel – this is the reason why the road is so bumpy.
You
have made me think that I am the one at fault.
Could
it be more cruel?
---
Now
welcome to my hell full of truths and fallen masks.
This
is how my home looks like – ugly and unpredictable
Just
like you made me feel.
I
have come to take your soul back to where it is supposed to be,
Reliving
all you did to me, this time you are on the burning chair.
I
can watch how I break your heart to little pieces,
I
can suck all the liveliness from your soul.
And
then I will shamefully try to make it as if it is okay to suffer.
All
in reverse – I torture you and you stay silent trying to understand
What
you have done this time or I am the insane.
These
mind games are fun, I didn’t realize it back then.
Hell
or heaven, different points of view.
Some
people feed on smiles, others on tears.
Who
is the predator and who is the prey?
---
Love
is a game of chess; we are the figures on the black-and-white board.
Every
move is important – you either win or lose.
Until
you learn how to play it, don’t think of getting any trophy.
Every
loss costs a piece of you, being damaged is the aim.
Every win costs a piece of your sanity
– good or bad, the outcome is the same.
You
are either hero or a villain, no in-between.
It’s up to us if we want to break it even - no damage done
Or keep playing to feel the bizarre pleasure of being hurt.
…
And now you know why I am so out of my mind,
I
am not the sweet sunshine, devil in disguise.
I
have paid the price of being the losing side,
I
have enjoyed the pain, I have nothing left to gain.
Shame,
fear, tears, broken soul – it’s all in the past.
Let
me show you the other side of me
Where
I am the winner and you are the one in agony.
