You are asking too much of me, my sweet desire,
I whisper
your name through my restless nights
Hoping to
summon you at least one more time.
I get
this was supposed to be just a moment – wishful thinking on my part,
Yet somehow
you branded me for life
And I cannot
move on – you are all I want.
Your touch
is still what I feel when I try to close my eyes,
Every part
of me screams for you and keeps searching.
I still don’t
realize how you could leave after what we had,
I am
still trapped inside this fantasy, under the moonlight,
Exactly where
you left me.
I still
try to understand how you walked away as if it was nothing,
Like a
hungry animal once it is done with its prey.
But unknowingly
you unlocked something dangerous in me,
Your beautiful
lies are the truths I am currently living in.
You held
me like a shadow – ruining my calm
Forcing
me to chase the darkness until I find you.
You showed
me you were never meant to stay
Yet I am
seeking you, addicted to poison you gave with a smile.
You left
me striving for more even if it is my undoing.
…
You came
like thick fog in a rainy day – impossible to escape,
The green
glow from our glasses was the only light while you whispered ‘You are mine’.
The strongest
taste I have ever known, my thoughts vanished, lost in your softness,
When my
world melted under the kiss of your icy mouth.
Your touch
rewired my brain, your heart made mine lose its rhythm,
This was
the moment I finally felt complete.
Your cherry-flavoured
dream pushed into obsession I have never known before,
Maybe I had
always wanted someone like you to shake me up,
To mess
me up as if I was broken record, an old forgotten song.
Your destruction
is still present, crawling through my veins,
Like the
chemicals refusing to leave my blood.
…
Don’t tell
to stop, I simply cannot resist the urge you left in me
I will
keep looking for fragments of you on every street, at every corner.
Even the
coldest rain cannot wash away the sickness living in my thoughts.
I will
keep choosing the beautiful lie over the cruel reality.
My hands
keep reaching for you in the daze of my sleeplessness,
Then I feel
the emptiness within crushing what is left of me.
You were
made to destroy my peace during that night,
Then you
disappear before I find the clarity I needed to stop this madness.
But I am
insane, I keep creating version of us after that night,
Fantasies
that keep functioning while my sanity is slipping away.
Your echo
follows me everywhere I go now,
Like a
lucid dream turning slowly into a dangerous game
A blur
between please and destruction, I am too intoxicated to escape.
And maybe
someday I will finally be ready to accept
That you
never stayed because all you truly wanted was one night of fun.
Until then I will keep annihilating myself in search of a reason you never planned to give.
