A life measured in questions, each one heavier than the
last.
…
Another story
of unbecoming - words put in cold order
As if
the pain will be tolerable for a day.
No medicine
in the back pocket,
Waves of
chill and heat dancing underneath the skin.
Another story
of anger so well written,
No more
polite conversations – let it out.
…
Growling
screams so inhumanly, so abrasive.
Abstinence
of happiness, fear overflowing the nervous system;
Every gesture
is robotic – every action makes us increasingly undone.
Am I the
only one fighting this unfortunate imbalance
Juggling
between the darkness and lightness of my soul?
And yet
so incomplete I feel minute by minute,
I am the
only one at loss?
Walking on
familiar streets yet I feel so foreign
Like an
alien from outer space, so out of place
As if I am
outlander banished from my home.
I can’t
feel the coldness of the pouring rain,
The frigidness
of the snow is no enemy to my skin,
The sun
fires don’t leave marks on me anymore.
Am I still
human or another human-made gadget clad in faux skin
Set free
to roam the world and get better of reading human lives?
My head
is spinning from too many questions, answers left unsaid;
I feel
dizzy, panic mode unlocked.
Living and
breathing puzzle, memories coming in riddles.
Where are
the clues?
Surrounded
by whispering shadows yet their voices never sound,
Staring at
the reflection in the mirror – I cannot recall as mine.
I steal
quick glance at my clock – time feels frozen – I am stuck?
I stand
still on the solid ground and yet I feel the movement as if I am trying to walk
through quicksand.
…
Surrounded
by passers-by – no faces recognized, so crowded yet so empty.
I reach the
end of the road, horror house in front waiting for its guests.
I stand
motionless contemplating if I want to enter
I might
end up in a world that doesn’t belong to me
And if I am welcomed, how will I realize if I am still me or lost for eternity?
