The Dawn is running away from me as if I am cursed
Leaving me
restless, unsure if I can survive the day.
How I am
supposed to know what is best for me,
What will
silence the noises of the mindless routine?
How am I
meant to handle the burdens alone
When the
sadness is my second skin?
So lost
I don’t know where to start from.
I am circling
in confusion – how should I behave?
I refuse
to continue this pointless day.
In the
daze I remain motionless – I don’t remember what I have accomplished,
What I
have built is unstable – the architect in me is dead.
…
I taste
the borrow guilts instilled in me,
I feel
the passion sleeping underneath those accusations.
How could
I tell what is best for me
When the
night keeps occupying every cell,
When my
pride is gone for so long.
I crave my
runs under the morning sky
When the
air feels crisp and untainted,
To feel
the lushness of the grass under my bare feet,
To scream
the fears out the way I used to,
To shout
and then to stop on the edge of the cliff.
…
And yet
here we are – on the crossroad of the days passed
The reflection
of the lessons learnt and what should be improved,
The place
where I should make the choice – to avoid the wrong turn.
But the
perception is through someone else’s eyes…
And yet I
cannot go back to what I was – a forgotten wasteland now,
The loneliness
floods back in full force – I cannot be different.
…
Despite my
wrong doings, I cannot betray what is in me
Even
though I am the one who destroys what doesn’t serve me anymore
And
leaves it behind, no turning back.
I blend
with the new scenery – a different place, a different version of me.
…
There is
no point for reaching out, this is how I am built.
Like the
monuments I leave behind, I am one with the city – once on the spotlight
Then part
of the charm of that abandoned street.
Now transparent, a shadow, a ghost of eternity.
