14 February 2022

Silent Streets

 


I am walking on the silent streets,

Hoping to meet you again.

I want to bury my heavy head into your arms,

I want to feel how your heart skips a beat.

I am walking on the silent streets

Waiting to meet you again.

I want to look into your eyes

And get lost like I used to do.

I am walking on the silent streets,

The rain is pouring, I am soaking wet

From all the memories we used to share.

….

I am burning from within but no one is there.

Emptiness, darkness, blackness, living hell…

…

I don’t want to find you anymore.

I am walking on the silent streets,

I can’t sense you, I am glad.

I won’t roam around with hopes to find you,

I am finally complete and healed.

I don’t want to even see your silhouette,

I don’t want to suffer like I used to do.

10 January 2022

The Cliff

 


Have you ever been on the edge of the cliff,

Face to face with the endless abyss,

Chained in shame from the desire to jump

And lose yourself?

Have you ever been on the edge of the cliff,

Borderline mad,

Taken by the desire to disappear?

Have you ever reached the limit of your powers,

When the body refuses to work?

Have you ever been a slave of your own fears?

They keep on coming in waves…

Have you ever been on the edge of the cliff,

Hearing your inner voice advising you to jump?

Have you ever been so tired of your life,

Lived in fear, in loneliness,

With a heart ripped out of your chest; broken…

…

I am broken like you - 

Hollow like a mannequin, with no soul, nor heart,

Someone stole them from me a long time ago.

And ever since then I have been sitting on this edge ready to spring.

You might ask why I am telling you all this,

It’s not your story, empty words of someone weak,

Tired of living the life.

Don’t ask, just listen,

The person rarely speaks for his own misfortunes.

The road was tough, deserted and thorny,

Without companion, I am not wanted,

Left alone after the last storm

Which annihilated my spirit.

Back then in the darkness of the night

I lost everything, it costed me a few words.

Back then in the cold nightfall,

I reached the end of the road.

…

I am sure, you are getting there,

To the edge of the cliff,

And when you reach it, you will see your life – a movie black-and-white.

You will want to take the jump.

This is my end as it was to all before me.

You won’t see the sparkle in the eyes

Once shinning bright.

This adventure is about to end.

...

Have you ever been on the edge of the cliff,

The end of your conscious self-destruction?

If the answer is yes, then brace yourself and make this decision.

This is the only way to end what is torturing you, eating you alive, killing you.

Now, please excuse my bold words and let me take my leave.

My time is running out.

Please turn your back, close your eyes

And let me finish the trip, I started in the midst of my weakening.

Just Let Me Go

 


Everybody keeps staring, screaming,

I can’t take it anymore.

Everybody keeps judging as if they know it all,

Pointing fingers, yelling…

Please let me go…

This life is chaos,

not a single piece is where it should be.

This cycle keeps on coming

Like my mind is its home,

Please let me go…

I can’t take the blame,

I am empty – black hole, no soul…

The nightmare keeps on going,

I can’t take it anymore…

I am exhausted…

Lifeless eyes, deaf ears,

What is this – life or hell.

There is no escape,

What I am supposed to do?

Just let me go…

Tired, broken, hopeless…

Can I just quietly go?

My thoughts are storms -

Destruction in my mind,

My feelings are like huge waves –

Annihilation of my soul…

Please, listen – I can’t take it any longer,

Let me go…

My Soul Is...

 


My soul is a note from the piano,

Can you hear the sound from the black keys?

My soul is an unpresentable composition,

The pianist cannot hide it.

A new piece is about to start,

A new row, a new treble clef…

I lock my emotions in a lower octave…

Lower…

An lower...

I cannot go up…

My soul is a note from the piano,

Can you hear the sound from the white keys?

This time I play the forbidden triton,

Three times – this is me.

My soul is a note from the piano,

I play with all the keys,

You can hear the chaos,

And then can you hear the base

Until I close the lid…

I am going to play this song again someday,

The melody I wrote for me…

06 November 2021

The Awakening



I was called ton of names with intention to destroy me
But I put them carefully in my make-up box and wardrobe.
In front of my mirror I started getting ready.
I unintentionally used two unapologetic execrations as dark shades on my eyes,
On my lips I put the blood-red betrayals,
All the insults are my blush,
I braided my hair with all the false promises once given,
My neckless is made of blames put on me.
I took the dress made of untold truths
And I took my gloves made of lies.
I took my jacket made from numerous deceptions,
My boots are other’s expectations of who am I supposed to be.
I am ready, it is time for me to go..
....
The path I took is made of pain,
I shed some tears for safe travels….
And only the mirror in my room witnessed
The real me, my naked soul,
Tired of all these shams…