Reflection unknown is looking at me through the mirror –
Half lively,
half dead.
Is this
what I have become?
Life transferred
from someone else – not mine.
I bent
my head, neck arched like a black swan,
Still unfamiliar
with the staring gaze –
Is this
the best of what I can?
I have completely
forgotten my mission in life,
I have
suppressed my desires for someone.
Why did I
make that fatal choice?
Was it
worth the sacrifices when I am unrecognizable?
I keep
staring at the mirror – so unsurprisingly distant.
I can’t
remember which decision turned me into that stone.
What
have I done?
…
Eyes empty
– sparkles lost ages ago,
I kept
lying to myself that everything will be fine.
Mouth shut
– voice stolen no one knows when
When my
opinion stopped being cherished,
I chose
silence instead of the scream I wanted to let loose.
I keep
looking this face – ghost pale, looks like death.
Why did I
settle on life which was never meant for me?
I see eyes
soulless – as empty as barren ground
A reflection
of life lived wrong.
I lost
the sharpness of the mind once I had,
I keep
looking but something is missing – my spirit is gone.
My soul
turned into ashes spread through the world once bright,
Desires buried
beneath the blanket of fear that I can never make it,
Venomous
whispers of “friends” held dear, now empty chairs on my table called life.
I keep
seeking, I keep trying to remember – still nothing,
What is
wrong with me?
…
Finally,
I broke the silent song of my undoing with the painful scream of my rebirth,
The mirror
shattered and in every little piece I start to see me again.
Fragments
of my soul is shinning through the looking glass on the floor beneath my feet.
Each cut
on my hand a reminder – I have sacrificed enough
The ghost
in front of me is no longer mine, I will keep it in the past.
I will
blur it, I can breathe at last.
I have
gathered the broken pieces of my soul when all was said and done,
Free of
whispers and fears installed in me by their projections,
I let
the pain of losing myself engulf me,
In the
end I can start over – no one is putting their shapes onto me.
My song
will be angry in sounds, destruction in my lyrics,
And ugly
truth in every note I sing.
Let the
water in my voice drawn what once confined me
And from
the ruins of my silence to be once more whole.
