My subscription for these relationships is over,
I refuse
to pay any longer,
I am
cancelling it – long overdue.
The trial
period of this version of life doesn’t serve me anymore,
I won’t
be charged for what doesn’t match my energy.
…
In an
era of paying fees to watch and listen, I choose to live,
I pick a
reality that represents me, not curated versions –
A moment
here, a song there – fragments of what could be.
I am
blocking every message from ghosts lurking
Only to
gossip once I leave of the room.
I am not
subscribing to shiny “memories”, filters of glitz and glamour
That do
not suit my inner world.
The stars
above shine brighter than any effect on those stories.
These reels
are not snippets of me but lies told in movie formats
Delusions…
Of
someone else’s needs.
I refuse
to pay the rent to stay in the doghouse full of blood-hungry hounds.
Wolves in
sheep’s clothing circling me in hunger,
Ready to
attack when I am weaker, when my guard falls.
HD
screens show me movies of foreign opportunities,
My compass
shows a different North, even as I face South.
In a
world of picture-perfect museums, I choose to be chaotic art.
My words
carry the mayhem brewing in the soul
Overstimulated,
hollow – sometimes shallow.
Everyone
is different.
Art is
not a pattern that leads to instant success.
All the ships
I had are now reconsidered; some are deaf, others blind.
Even alone,
In the
darkness of my inner havoc
I still make
it work.
My songs
roam the soul free, my words put people in a chokehold
Not because
I want to hurt but because I aim to stay real
– what breaks
me makes me stronger.
My life is
not a comedy show – it’s a messy reality TV with no producers,
The editor’s
cut doesn’t sell.
…
My subscription
for these relationships is over,
I cut
the old wounds once more – deeper this time.
The poison
should be drained; the marks might be worse than before.
But the
current version of me has unfollowed all the fake influencers
To make
room for what truly excites me.
A little
pain no longer frightens me,
My reflection
is what matters the most,
Even
sunk deep in sadness, loneliness or bitterness
I know
one day the moon will smile at me again,
A soft
silver glow will kiss me when the time comes,
Embracing
darkness and light – a Yin Yang that flows tirelessly.
