Saint Or Sinner

 

Kissed by thousand lips

I engulfed myself into the pleasures of the flesh.

Touched by thousand hands

I am set on fire even by the slightest osculation.

Buried under the countless bodies I have had

Awakened my femme fatale -

Like a modern witch of the Satisfaction Coven,

Proven to be evil when necessary, even deadly at times - 

Killing souls with a gentle looks, soft kisses

Making you forget the ugliness of the simple life.

…

Oh I am so tired of the boring love songs

That every woman loves to listen to,

New way of keeping the deceit up.

Love will conquer all, does it though?

I want to hear those forbidden tunes of shameless joy

When the primal instincts are in tact

The raw attraction and impulses of playing with the one next to you

Is what really matters in the darkness of the night.

The time when all masks are down showing our true colors

And even if we are frown upon, we keep getting the sweetness

Of that gentle grab around the neck.

Who cares if it is for day or two, or even for a year?

We want to lose our minds in the game of two or even more,

Where nothing is forbidden, where everything is up to us.

Oh, let’s bring up those “filthy” fantasies – games outside the cardboard box,

Neatly hidden behind metal doors, shameful yet intriguing for those who cannot play free.

Why to cage ourselves in shining cages – society is what we are thought to uphold,

The general idea of what we should enjoy.

Oh, my endearing lady, come with me, just for one night.

Let me show you how life could taste – cherry and pineapple, strawberry and vanilla.

You choose, I obey like I have never done before.

Let me free you from the social prison, let me see you reborn.

In my hands I can mold you like no man has ever done before

And if someone tries to judge you send them to me.

I can teach and punish every man or woman, whatever is in demand

I see no difference as long as I get what I think is mine.

…

Here you are afraid of what might happens, shaking from the thought of doing something bad

And yet you are so obedient, I like how I made you mine.

Semi-life

 

The life passes by without a single warning,

No fire alarms are set, no safety nets in case we fall

And with teary eyes we run into the silence.

And when it looks so hopeless and depressing

You gently took my hand.

…

The soft kisses left the lips burning hot,

The tight hugs kept the body warm,

But the heart was frozen, just a simple nothing

Tired of the repeating cycle – empty like an endless void.

…

The words were turned into incoherent noises

Annoying to the ears semi-deaf.

No spark into the eyes so jaded,

They can still see but only silhouettes.

There is no color, there is no sound –

A life like silent movie, black-and-white.

…

Woken up in screams and panic,

Fear crawling like a monster from under the bed,

Another try to run and hide into the darkness...

Suddenly a tender grip around my hand shook me,

It took me by surprise until I finally realized

The nightmare is over and the one holding my hand is I!!

Monster In Disguise

 

Quiet night, empty streets,

Steps coming from behind…

Pounding heart – to run or to fight.

Breathless creature, let’s dance on the pavement…

…

Under the moonlight I transform into a beast

I crave the weakness in the eyes of my victim,

The sensation of the danger – can you catch me?

Faceless threat enclosing from the shadows,

The feeling of adrenaline is so intoxicating,

They scream in fear, can you blame them?

…

I wasn’t born a monster but they made me -

A walking demon in the woman’s skin

Feeding of the male cries of pain.

They burn me at the stake of shame,

I still feel the flames gently touching my mortal skin.

In another life they drown me in the cold waters of the frigid winter lake,

They said I am curse for their village – the Devil’s seed.

In my third life they called me succubus reborn,

They tied me and stoned me in the middle of the city center  – I was just a child.

…

Nine lives later, nine deaths and yet I am still here

The perfect weapon for destruction –

Every death and accusation turned me into powerful creature

Tasked with the elimination of the men who hurt women.

I am what they desire most and yet cannot get – reflection of their hidden fantasies

And when I have my fun I mirror their greatest fear - 

This is how I end them, my MO of choice.

The curses their ancestors put on me, their filthy accusations

Now became their worst nightmare -  no one can stop me.

The Devil’s daughter, Lilith reincarnate, 

Gorgon Medusa reborn, Nyx in modern days

I have so many names, chose one, it doesn't matter.

I live on the thin line between the human and the magical worlds,

Barely traceable - I am a walking myth.

I hide behind the dark corners looking for my new hunt.

…

The curse of bearing all the pain of women’s hurt is heavy for the human soul

In such time of crisis a Monster like me is born to lift the dimness of the world.

I cannot die, just sleep silently for centuries until the tears of those in pain wake me

And shift all their dark feelings onto me.

Once I feel the ache crawling in my veins I am ready.

It's payback time!

…

Quiet night, empty streets,

Steps coming from behind…

Pounding heart – to run or to fight.

Don’t rush it my sweet guy –

Andariel will take care of you, no need to hide.

I am your sweet desire, 

I am your special Monster in disguise.

Controversy

 

From the land of “Always Winter”

To the house of “Make-Believe”,

From the face of cute and innocent

To the mindless rage of the cruel leviathan.

….

In silent moments of clarity we pulled the strings of the dolls army,

To the sound void of scream matches of who we are supposed to be.

I know we all sound crazy; where are we going with all this?

From the asylum of forgotten people to the prison of look at me,

We all suffer in disjointed thoughts suppressed by those around us.

- Like madmen we are surfing the stormy sea of inner conflicts

Looking for the answers of false identity

As if the beast is dead or sleeping

When in reality, the monster is just you and I.

In the hurricane of lies we are so deeply sucked in

Forced to cooperate to save this precious life; aren’t we all?

And levitating in the trance of tranquility these words are poured into a poem or something close to it.

Confusion often mistaken as a madness; deceptive narrative.

Confessions of a person with volatile nature – unhealthy strive for perfection.

It sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

…

From the dimension of “I can do it all”

To the room of “Why am I so weak”,

We keep getting involved so deeply into the poisonous inner conflicts.

From the place of “Let me help you”

To the path of “I want to see you fail”,

We keep the our fears brewing strong

Waiting for the sublime moment to unleash the bomb of “Can’t you hear me?”

When all we need is just to be put down to sleep -

Sedated with calmness; drugged with sweet dreams.

When rage and fear rule us unconsciously

Then the wicked ego comes triumphant

Leaving us in shambles – the perfect martyrs in the play acting on the perfect stage.

Dreamland Intoxication

 

Full moon, clear starry sky,

Tired from the day-to-day bullshit

Carefully lay the head on the cold pillow,

Exhausted close the eyes.

…

And here we go again trapped in the Dreamland jail,

Faced to relive the punishments we thought we left behind.

In this prison the rules may vary from the crime committed against yourself,

Every word and action carefully curated - let the game begin.

We all have that feeling as we are the main cast of Saw

But here is the twister – who is jailer? Gently look up.

In disbelief we stare at the mirror, who the hell I am up against?

The Jailer in question – Me, Myself and I.

I love this Dreamland prison; I love the mental breakdown we all have

Until we finally admit that the sentence is indeed your way to torture ourselves

In the box of our repressed emotions and thoughts,

The cage of sacrifices not needed, of us being doormats of the fears we all have.

In this unconscious captivity we battle the fears we successfully oppress

In the light of what we are expected to be,

The only way out is to evolve until we are ready to be released.

This Dreamland confinement is our reflection of who we have become,

Incapacitated from this so called reality.

The dream is tough, we cry in our sleep

Until we are ready to be who we are supposed to be.

Then the jailer disappears, no more cages, no more pain.

And if we ended up in an asylum, then we start again.

Chemically unbalanced, surrendered by the day-to-day sham

We are battling our biggest enemy - Me, Myself and I anew.

Grow up, for fuck sake, don’t try to escape!

Haven't you learned anything so far?

Aren't you tired of repeating the same old mistake?

Face the demons, call yourself out and then taste the freedom

Like a hawk gliding in the peaceful bright blue sky!

…

Full moon, clear starry sky,

Tired from the day-to-day bullshit

Carefully lay the head on the cold pillow,

Exhausted close the eyes.

Feel the pleasure of a well slept night,

Full of energy in the morning,

Ready to enrich the day one more time.