Generation 3rd Lost

 

Second generation self-destruction

Forced upon an innocent soul.

Hereditary self-isolation

Leading to increased depression -

Lack of human touch.

Clusters of genes bred throughout the countless descent -

Segments of lost study, annihilation by default.

 ….

In the deepest darkness of my consciousness,

Buried in the ashes of my self-preservation,

I am looking for the painful answers

Of what the hidden secrets can reveal.

The sadistic self-torture mixed with the sweetest regret

Of the weakness exploration of who I once was.

Tears falling, eyes blurry, brutal reality check.

Blacked memories of horror and disaster,

Another sabotage without success.

When the soul is hellish, obscure of nature

Why I keep trying to repent?

Shame and hatred, angry issues coming one by one,

To fit or not to fit? – This is my question-

To blend in a mindless society engulfed with copy/paste mentality.

 To feel or not to feel? - This is my next challenge –

 Why my duality shows up when the moment is inconvenient?

….

Fourth generation self-destruction,

Fourth generation masked in vexation,

Fourth generation inner demonic motivation,

Lacking basic morality, free spirit – no restrains.

And even if the lunacy is not well hidden - who is to blame?

When the pattern is repeated, deeply engrained,

When damage is not viewed as feebleness -

The true power of the victor is the one being freely INSANE!

Debugged Reality

 

System broken by design,

Glitches corrupt processes,

Debugging all the bugs – mission impossible;

Algorithm cannot compute.

…

Like a major bug I reoccur

Forcing the system to another shut down.

How many hours of fixes should be applied

Before the project is discarded?

Another sync is forced - the memory exhausted;

Another code rerun – another faulty feature.

…

In this dark social system, we crave the full release

Failing to realize how the wheel is wrong.

The end game is full control, factory of identical behavior;

What if the source code is amiss?

Stupidity is treated with respect, rotting make believes;

Another cheat sheet provided by religion.

If you are not follower – you are forever lost.

Admissions for this distorted reality never stop,

Test subjects happily sign the weaver;

The experiment is going strong.

…

And like a mad scientist, we struggle to achieve

The discovery of the modern age – Freedom 

– still delusional, never left this empty state.

How many times we ran the same experiment with different subjects?

Test after test the data is still unusable – countless variables, no templates.

Empty pages, inconclusive results – who is supervising the assessment?

How many weavers we can sign just to gain a better status?

Modern era, modern pain, modern dreams and modern loss.

Can we compete like rats trapped in countless mazes?

Thousands of mazes – numerous jobs;

And we are running towards the broken wheel

As if we cannot survive without the Savior called payroll.

Tired of all the running, all the data process,

Ready for restart or full system dethrone!?

Modern Lexicology

Let’s talk about loyalty,

Everyone’s favourite word nowadays.

What does this word loyalty mean,

When the connotation is completely changed

From being loyal to someone and shifted

To keep someone until their actions are in harmony

With your thoughts, actions and your perception of reality.

Your devotion has limits and if they slightly push back,

Even just a tiny step away then you are hurt, betrayed.

Where is the loyalty from your end?

Let’s talk about audacity,

Everyone’s favourtie expression!

When you try to take some time for yourself

And they feel so offended that you took some time off of them.

The entitlement of your time they have,

And claim you owe them every second – from the moment your eyes are open

Till the very second you press your tired onto the soft pillow.

The nerves you have to pull back for a bit

To keep yourself sane and complete,

Your time for yourself and no one else.

The audacity to stay away for your recharge,

The courage to fight again back.

…

But this is how the world operates today,

You are constantly in debt to all the Time consumers,

Energy vampires with appearance so innocent and pure.

They expect you to gift them with everything you have

Until they find a stronger kick somewhere else.

And once they find your replacement,

They withhold the precious title – the Ultimate Cure of their Imperfection! 

Modern Victims

 

Victimized by circumstances,

Begging for more pain,

Never to protect the soul and heart,

Keep bleeding over and over again.

The feeling of desperation,

Running though the veins,

The quick dopamine sensation,

And then drowning in the desperation.

….

Uncompromisable touches,

Bloody tears falling down the face…

Who is wrong and who is right?

Another game for two in a single player mode.

Who is to blame, when the agony is all we need,

And who is the victim when we all went insane.

…

Another night spent with someone unfamiliar,

Another quick fix for the adrenaline junkie,

Another day spent in self-destruction,

Who is the hunter and who is the prey?

We are so fucked up and yet we are okay,

We are so unstoppable and yet we cannot move a step.

…

Who is asking for a savior?

Who is the judge during our doomsday?

We are so beautifully insane,

Lack of sympathy is our mantra

- Psychopaths with sweet voices.

We are so dependent on the convenience,

Annihilation of ourselves is our way of expression.

The Villain era is the trend,

We don’t care if we stay the same.

…

Victimized by circumstances,

Begging for more pain,

Who care of the soul’s protection,

All we need is the sweet taste of the TORMENT!!!

Villain Era

 

Mistake after mistake, colder I grow,

Isolated by my own distrust and disbelieve,

Wrong judgement, wrong call,

Is my perception lacking?

Rerolling all the old tapes of cringe moments,

Torturing myself.

...

This life of movie black-and-white,

These series of bad scenes,

There is no writer nor director,

Improv went wrong:

-no notes, no feedback.

The stage is dark, the curtains fall

The room is silent, I am at fault?

If the comedy is not landing,

If the joke is misunderstood again

Am I the one to blame?

…

But the life is far from being some type of comedy,

Let’s get real – it is the tragedy of every soul

Is the loneliness of being authentic?

The irony of being honest,

Wearing all of who you are proudly on your sleeve.

And when they are done studying you;

The horror sets in motion –

Nightmare of the Genuine Soul

Being mocked, and kicked; forgotten, a backup plan;

The one who is always there when they are needed,

Tossed away when everything is fine.

…                                     

And after all the sadness comes the time of the psycho-thriller

Where you are the main villain with amazing arch

And all the stupid heroes try to make you pay

For what they have created, 

Blinded by the Main Character Complex of another's life.

And yes, I live in my Villain Era, why should I be ashamed?

When every action got its consequence,

And every hero follows stupid human path

Without realizing how their view is so fucked up.

…

Life is not a movie nor a stage piece to kill an hour or two.

Be careful when you write on someone else’s pages.

You are not as powerful narrator as you think,

You are a just temporary phase.  

Because someone is gracious

To let you have their spot light.